सनातन पुस्तकालय Sanatan Cultural Library

In the Hindu reckoning of time, the new moon is the hinge of the month — the sun and moon stand together, the night is at its darkest, and tradition holds that this is when the pitrus, the departed ancestors, draw nearest to their descendants. Offering them water on amavasai is counted among the oldest duties in the dharma: a debt of gratitude to those who gave us our bodies and our lineage. Three new moons carry particular weight in Tamil Nadu. Aadi Amavasai, in the month of Aadi, sees enormous gatherings at Rameswaram, Kanyakumari and river ghats for ancestral rites. Thai Amavasai, falling soon after Pongal, is another major day for tarpanam at sacred waters. Mahalaya Amavasai closes the fortnight of Pitru Paksha, when offerings are believed to reach all ancestors, even those whose death anniversaries are unknown.

Those whose parents are no longer living — traditionally the eldest son, though practice varies by family — perform tarpanam on amavasai morning. After a bath, wearing washed traditional clothes, the performer takes a sankalpa naming the day and their gotra and forefathers, then offers libations of water mixed with black sesame seeds, poured over darbha grass, reciting the names of three generations on both the father's and mother's side. Where possible this is done standing in a river, temple tank or the sea; at home, a basin of clean water serves. Many keep a fast until the rite is complete, some for the whole day until evening. The day is also kept as a quiet vratam by others in the household: simple vegetarian food, no new ventures or celebrations, and prayers for the peace of the departed. Feeding others — a priest, the poor, or even crows, regarded as messengers of the pitrus — completes the observance.

Tarpanam travels well: it needs only water, black sesame, darbha grass if you have it, and the correct tithi. Check the site's calendar for amavasai as computed for Ottawa — the tithi can differ by a day from Indian listings because of the time difference, and the rite is traditionally done in the forenoon while the tithi prevails. In warmer months some families offer tarpanam beside the Ottawa or Rideau rivers; at home, a wide vessel of water on a balcony or in the yard is entirely acceptable, with the water afterwards poured to a tree or plant. If no one in the family has learnt the mantras, a simple offering of water with the names of one's forefathers, made with sincerity, is honoured by tradition; Ottawa-area priests can also guide a fuller rite on Aadi, Thai or Mahalaya Amavasai.